Stupid Criminals 2011
There are so many stupid criminals out there– and 2011 has been no exception to the rule. Those dummies who get caught because they’re just not very good at being bad.
Stupid Criminals 2011
Let’s take a look at some of the funniest, dumbest criminal stories of the year.
Jason Leon Bastrom + Criminal Trespass
It was in Portland, Oregon that Bastrom entered a house because the doormat said “welcome”. Of course he meant to pull a bit of a robbery but ended up getting his lights knocked out by the people at home (jason bastrom + punched out).
Judy Weible Called Police
In Jackson, Mississippi this 61-year old woman was attempting to set up a drug deal and ended up texting and calling the police about the details. Uh, duh! Needless to say she got busted (Judy Weible + Hydrocodone Tablets).
Heroin For Sale Sign
Once again Portland seems to be the town full of terrible criminals. A flier advertising heroin for sale was circulating a neighborhood when somebody reported it to the cops. What did they find? Portland + meth lab, 19 grams of marijuana, 10 grams of heroin, 190 pills and $4,143 in cash + shotgun. Silly criminals!
Douglas Martin Kidnapping Post Leads to Drug Bust
Twas a strange day for Riverside, Illinois cops who responded to a suspicious looking Facebook post about a creative writing project regarding Douglas J. Martin holding ex-girlfriend prisoner. They showed up and found Douglas J. Martin + marijuana, heroin and drug paraphernalia. Fun!
Shoplifters Leave Kids in Walmart
They knew they were caught shoplifting at this Louisville, Kentucky Walmart so they fled the scene. Leaving their child behind (Children left + Michael S. Kaufman + Kelsey Grobmeier). And then they came back to get their kid and got caught. Not the first time young parents have made this EXACT mistake! See Amy Kapetanious and Daniel shelton baby at Walmart.
Topless Woman High Speed Chase
Have you heard many stories stranger than this one? Erin Holdsworth of Ohio shocked police on a topless drunk driving chase. After her car was swerving about, the police began chasing her. When she pulled over she jumped out of the car wearing nothing more than fishnet tights, a g-string and a smile.
Erica Denise Phillips + Cash Register
A Florida woman by the name Erica Denise Phillips was accused of stealing a cash register. Turned out the cash register didn’t have more than a quarter in it– apparently not worth the money she initially thought it was.
Furnace Filter Bank Robbery
Only in Cumming, Georgia… a man known as the filter bank robber held up the bank using nothing more than a furnace filter. The best part is that the furnace filter bank robber got away. So who’s laughing now?
Amy Leigh Brown Texts Deputy
She wanted to sell some Xanax. So she texted the last person on Earth she should have– the sheriff. Amy Leigh Brown + Sheriff’s Deputy.
Brandon Ames Thong Church
In an effort to win a $300 bet he wore a thong to church. And then just got in trouble. Not sure if it was worth it? Brandon Ames + Woman’s Thong.
College Station + Dollar Bill + Cafeteria
Two counterfeit bills were enough to get some students in trouble when they attempted to use them in the school cafeteria. They might not have thought it was a big deal, but the consequences were pretty serious: Dustin Dominique Aleman + State Jail Felony Forgery of a Financial Instrument.
Man Steals Empty DVD Cases
In Salina, Kansas it’s hard to be badass. Just ask the 21-year old kid who stole a bunch of empty dvd cases and pedaled away on his bike with a sledgehammer tied to a rope.
Joan Zalk + Chihuahua
A dog sitter who gets charged with animal cruelty. Yikes. Such is the case for Joan Zalk who was caught lead a chihuahua from her car while driving. Her claim? Joan Zalk + dog needed to walk at least three miles a day or ballistic.
Burglars Wash Dog
On the other side of the animal + criminal scale is the story of the burglars who washed a man’s dog before robbing him. He stated: Somebody done wash the dog in my house. Oh yeah, they got caught because they got cocky: burglars wash dog left camera with pictures.
Ahmed Hasnain + Prostitutes
Generally when you order escorts you aren’t picky. Not so for Hasnain, a Kansas man who ordered several escorts to his motel room then called the cops because he wasn’t satisfied with their ‘hotness’. Ahmed Hasnain just wanted a refund. Ugh.
Christopher Parker Gangland Arrest
This Illinois dude has a rap sheet: Christopher Parker eau claire burglaries. After getting arrested he tried to bribe the police: Christopher Parker Police $100,000. Yes the ”Christopher Parker arrested chicago + felony attempted bribery” made the headlines especially when he claimed: “I watch Gangland and I came to the South Side of Chicago to act like a big baller“.
Clowns Steal Fake Jewelry
Two robbers dressed as clowns broke into a jewelry store and escaped. Jokes on them, though as they stole phony jewels.
Drunk Woman + Bikini Wax + Iowa City
Yes, going to get a bikini wax whilst drunk. Pure class. An Iowa City woman snapped towel at employee when she was turned down a wax because she was too drunk. And then she got caught because… Anna Katherine Bacon-Silveira running by police station.
Baby Stroller in Back of Truck
Keyona Nicole Davis + facing child neglect charge after putting a baby in the back of a truck. Because that makes sense. Keyona Nicole Davis + It’s not like they give you a handbook excuse.
Related: Dumb Criminals
Stupid Criminals 2011
Stupid Criminals 2011
