How To Deal With Difficult In-Laws – My Mother-in-law’s other car is a Broom! You have all heard countless jokes about the in-laws over the years. I have to admit that when I was growing up, I never did fully appreciate the seriousness of the situation of in-laws. All that changed last year when I got married. Welcome to the family!
Years of courting, popping the question, the most beautiful wedding day, honeymoon, all such beautiful memories that you will cherish forever. Then, all of a sudden, BOOM! Back to earth with a bang, it is real, and you now realize that you did not just marry the love of your life, you married their whole clan. I am sorry to say, but the in-laws are part and parcel of most marriages.
Some of you might get lucky, although I have a feeling that the majority of people will find that the in laws rub them up the wrong way. Be it through constant meddling in your affairs, or to more serious disagreements, at some point you are going to need to work out how to deal with difficult in-laws.
How To Deal With Difficult In-Laws
No doubt you have already considered the option of moving away, far far away. But this is not always possible, nor is it the best solution. Besides, with technology such as skype, you are never going to be able to fully escape the clutches of the in-laws. In addition to this fact, it is quite common for your other half not to fully understand the situation that you find yourself in. It is also tough to explain for most people, for fear of upsetting your wife, or husband. So, what are some good tips for dealing with the in-laws?
- On the not of upsetting your partner…do not EVER force your loved one to choose. I say this as the number one tip because I can almost guarantee that the thought has crossed your mind at least once during a heated discussion about the in-laws. It is not fair and it is not a solution. You love your partner and therefore you must respect their love for their parents.
- One thing that you can both do, as well you should do as husband and wife, is to agree to speak up for one another. A basic rule of marriage one might have thought, but many people do not stand up for their loved ones when it comes to family.
- Taking things a step further, you might need to remind yourself on occasion that your in-laws only know what you tell them. There is no point in stewing over something that they did which upset you, as there is a good chance they do not know what they did has upset you. Speak up about issues that are causing you distress! If they are rather difficult issues, then ask your partner to voice you concerns in a way that will not cause offense.
- Try to walk in their shoes. Getting to the root of the problem will help to solve it. Be willing to bend a little to see what you need to see. Sometimes there is a perfectly good explanation for their behavior, although I am afraid to say that sometimes there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to it. Just bite your tongue and go with the flow, see if a change in your attitude brings about a change in theirs?!
- Set clear boundaries. This is of the utmost importance if you live with your in-laws. Personal space must be given to all parties, so try to have a room that your in-laws cannot go in. That way you can at least have a sanctuary if it all becomes to much. Other boundaries also need to be set, for example with your children. I make it clear that I don’t mind what they tell their daughter to do, but I do mind what they tell my daughter to do. I have a way in which I want to raise my children and they have to accept that. Be firm if needs be!
- Go on the charm offensive. Much easier if you do not live with them, as you will be able to return to normal as soon as you get in the car and drive away. They say the best form of defense is attack, so don’t wait for them to come to you. Go to them. If they annoy you by constantly calling to check up on you, call them. If they annoy you by telling you how to do things, then ask them how to do other things. You may or may not care, but it means a lot to them and if you know if is coming anyway, better to be in control of the situation yourself, right?
- Choose when to fight. If it is going to come down to it, and sometimes it does help to clear the air, then make sure your choose your battles wisely. Don’t clash heads over every little last thing. You will find yourself arguing over everything and the situation will spiral out of control. Fight for the things that mean the most to you. Be firm, be polite and be in control. this is the best way to deal with difficult in-laws.
How To Deal With Difficult In-Laws – This is definitely one to take to the forums. Please come on down and share your experiences with one another. It might help just to have a little rant, or to know that others are going through the very same thing. Tell us how you deal with difficult in-laws.
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